Day 16 ~ Reflect, Comment and Connect
Reflect
- What was the most important thing you learned about yourself this week?
- What has been your favorite exercise so far? What did you like about it?
- Which exercise did you struggle with the most and why?
- I was amazed at how easy it was to find 100 things that made me happy. I learned that I need to remember thee bright spots when he going gets rough.
- Favorite exercise was the ideal narrative and the perfect day. Speaking these occurrences into existence is very uplifting and profound.
- Was not a fan of the eulogy.
Day 15: Write Your Own Eulogy
Known affectionately as either Auntie New New, Glamour Girl, and in her literary ventures Ynobe Zhene. Ebony was a deeply caring, witty, intellectual and fierce friend. She loved hard and fought harder for her family and friends. Born in Washington D.C. and raised in PG County Maryland she came from a blessed, southern family. She was educated at both University of Maryland Baltimore County where sh earned a Bachelors in Psychology and she also received a Bachelors in Nursing at Howard University. She loved to travel abroad with her husband but always remained loyal to her true love, New York. She leaves behind her loving husband of 48 years, Romaun, and their two children, Sire and Presea.
Day 14: Imagine Your Perfect Day
I wake up happy and cheerful because I am well rested. There are no plans scheduled. The day is open and waiting for me to fill it as I see fit. No school, no exams, no petulant or faux friendships to weigh my heart down. My husband and I go to our favorite cafe accompanied by Sire and Empress. We sip on our favorite frappe's and laugh about the passerby's. We head to a park nearby to enjoy the sun and afternoon. Sire is a toddler now and demands less of my time than when he was a breastfed infant, thus allowing me to have little to no anxiety while we window shop through TriBeCa. As we head home, my mom informs me that she'll be glad to watch Sire as Romaun and our close friends head out to his comedy show and to a lounge later that evening.
Day 13: List 100 Things That Make You Happy
1. My husband Romaun
2. My son Sire
3. My family
4. Music
5. Reading
6. Writing
7. Poetry
8. Julie Andrews
9. Audrey Hepburn
10. PS3
11. iPhones
12. The milk smell on Sires breath.
13. Blogging
14. Mac computers
15. Honda's
16. Road trips
17. Trees
18. My nieces and newphews
19. Card games
20. Board games
21. Alcohol lol!
22. Manhattan skyline
23. Brooklyn Bridge
24. Brooklyn
25. Gucci
26. Michael Kors
27. Tiffany & Co.
28. 5th Avenue NY
29. SoHo, NY
30. Books
31. Sire's voice
32. Empress
33. Romaun's comedy
34. Dancing with Romaun
35. Westin hotels
36. Firefox browsers
37. Breastfeeding
38. Being a mother
39. My mom
40. My dad
41. The sound of Sire playing in his crib
42. Driving in Manhattan
43. NY hot dogs
44. NY clubs
45. Parties
46. Friendly get togethers
47. My BA in Psychology
48. Ryan Homes
49. Model homes
50. The countryside
51. Farms
52. Visa cards
53. Coach wallets
54. Louis Vuitton wallets
55. Christian Dior purses
56. Manolo Blahnik pumps
57. Self adhesive address labels
58. Competent professors
59. Birthdays
60. A clean car
61. A clean kitchen
62. My husband playing super baby with Sire
63. Target's that have groceries in them lol
64. Cheesecake Factory
65. The Goonies
66. Glazed donuts
67. Back massages
68. The Sound of Music
69. Jay-Z
70. Reasonable Doubt CD
71. Sarah Jessica Parker
72. Sex and the City
73. Sleep
74. Knowing Sire needs me
75. Macaroni and cheese
76. Stuffing
77. Copy & Paste
78. Paying bills
79. Budgeting
80. Saving money
81. Co-sleeping with Sire
82. Dictionaries
83. Thesaurus'
84. Back roads
85. Alternate routes
86. Eating
87. Carbs
88. Pictures
89. Christmas
90. Mother's Day
91. Success
92. Friendship
93. Giving
94. Church
95. Singing
96. The Bible
97. God
98. Salvation
99. Prosperity
100. Courage
Day 12 ~ Create A Vision Board
Make sure you display your vision board somewhere you’ll see it everyday and be inspired!
http://www.oprah.com/dreamboard/index.html?boardId=1
Day 10: Eliminate A Limiting Belief
The program by Morty Lefkoe addresses three of the most common limiting beliefs: - I’m not good enough.
- I’m not important.
- Mistakes and failure are bad.
I chose I'm not good enough. Perception is a hard habit to wield positively at times. This was a breakthrough exercise for me. I will choose to look at situations as they are and no longer attempt to custom fit a feeling or meaning to it that was not already present or associated with the occurrence. I create my outcomes, with God in the forefront of course. I encourage others to take the time and just go through this process. It will definitely be an aye opener.
Day ~ 10: Make A Bucket List
There are quite a lot of things I want to accomplish before the Good Lord calls me home. Here are a few, in no particular order:
- Publish a New York Times Best Seller
- Become an esteemed member of the Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated
- Own a luxury brownstone in Brooklyn, NY
- See all of my children become self sufficient, successful human beings
- Be in the position to give 25K to a charity of my choice
- Purchase a home for my mother
- Be rewarded and respected for my poetry
- Obtain a masters degree
- See my husband become a successful comedian and actor
- Know that my parents can retire safely and happily without worry of monetary dilemmas
- Reconnect with a best friend that I've lost over the years
Day ~ 9 Do One Thing
Something you’ve been procrastinating on for a long time
Something that terrifies you the most
Something that inspires you the most
One thing I've been procrastinating on is my writing. I am going to sit down and write a short story based off one of my poems. I am going to steal time for me and make it happen.
Day 8 ~ Reflect, Comment & Connect
What was the most important thing you learned about yourself this week?
What has been your favorite exercise so far?
Which exercise did you struggle with the most and why?
2. Favorite exercise so far was the ideal narrative. Although I couldn't devote much time to actually transcribing it in my blog, I thought about it long and hard.
3. Struggled with the ideal narrative. It caused me to really ponder on what I want out of life and how and with whom I want to spend my time.
Day 7: Write Your Ideal Life Narrative
I am living in a big multi-level loft in SoHo New York with my husband and three children. I am a published poet and author. I spend my time between New York, Delaware, Pennsylvania and Maryland to be with friends and family. I travel annually to different parts of the country and abroad.
Wish I could contribute more, but life remains hectic and "me" time is so limiting. It felt good just dreaming in the present tense though.
Create a Life Map
- Lifestyle - Family vacations will be taken annually; home purchased within next 2 years
- Work - Pursue a job more fitting for me
- Education - complete current curriculum and set on a path that better suited for me
- Finances - completely debt free by the end of next year
- Health - eat healthy, workout weekly
- Family - more outings or engagements together to strengthen family bonds
- Relationships - call more often, encourage others, listen longer
Day 5: Write a Personal Mission Statement
Values + Values in Action = Personal Mission Statement
I value fulfillment among my family, friendships and within my finances. Harmony is a virtue that I hold dear. I will strive for it to be a permanent fixture and to permeate through my life, through my interactions with my loved ones and any individual I come across. My creative nature shall guide me through the hills and valleys of normalcy and carve me out a niche on where I can express myself and show others my unique beauty. I will believe in myself more and allow my light to shine and not reside inside and become a dormant flicker. The work I choose will be a reflection of my personality and will not be performed for simply a paycheck. My lifelong companionship between myself and my husband shall triumph through hard times and blessings untold with the help of my fueling his dreams as well as my own. Above all these I will reconnect and maintain my relationship with God through daily fellowship.
Day 4: Envision Your Values in Action
Part #1: Am I Currently Living Out My Values? Rating 0-10
- Family, friend closeness & dependability ............. 5/10
- Relationship with God ......... 4/10
- Financial Freedom ...............7/10
- Security ............... 6/10
- Stability .............. 6/10
- Friendship ........... 4/10
- Personal Achievement ..........7/10
- Spousal Fulfillment .............. 5/10
- Creative Fulfillment and Accomplishment ................ 3/10
- Occupational Success ............ 4/10
Part 2: What Do My Values Look Like in Action?
- Relay my feelings on how I need more reliance from them.
- Attend church regularly, have bible study at home
- Eliminate all debt completely, accumulate savings for the house and for Sire
- Relay insecurities to husband and work together on solving issues between him and within myself
- Make concrete plans on how to solidify my mark in the workforce so that my contribution will add to the family's abundance
- Seek out closer bonds with the loved ones I hold dear. Call more often, be more attentive. Don't harp on things I can't control and eliminate dead weight friends
- Don't judge myself too harshly, enjoy my past accomplishments and find favor in what compliments me now. Take hold of my skills and actually push myself to use them.
- Treat hubby's goals as important as my own. Shortchanging the man of my heart is crippling to both of us.
- Find an avenue to release my creative inner ideologies. Make a path in society for myself and so I can be seen and heard. Fight through the fear.
- Narrow down and persevere on what actually pleases me occupationally, so that it won't be just something I'm doing for a paycheck.
Day 3: Identify Your Values
What matters most to you in life?
- Family
- Relationship with God
- Financial Freedom
- Security
- Stability
- Friendship
- Personal Achievement
- Spousal Fulfillment
- Creative Fulfillment and Accomplishment
- Occupational Success
Day 2: Conduct A Life Assessment
- Lifestyle: HATE ~I dislike where I live. Apartment living has taken its toll on me long enough. Can't wait to be a first time homeowner. Till then, I must endure this lifestyle.
- Work: LOVE ~Very and truly blessed and grateful to work the way that I do. I don't dislike a thing about my current job.
- Education: HATE ~Not too happy with this category. I have BA in Psyc that Im not using, and currently I am enrolled in the BSN program for Nursing at Howard University. In this field I am no longer interested in, and feel that I am wasting time, energy and money.
- Finances: LOVE ~I am very proud of my budgeting skills and how far Ive gotten the family income-to-debt ratio down to its current state. I have a little ways to go to completely debt free, but the strides already made have tremendously helped. Would love to have more money coming in the household.
- Health: HATE ~Sadly my spiritual and psychological health have been tested and souring as of late. Havent been to church since the ordination of my father and dedication of my nephew both engagements occurring last summer. And with the birth of my son, in August, the deterioration of my sanity is becoming more and more aware to not only myself but my husband and mother also that I may need to seek some therapy for what I think is postpartum depression. My physical health is pretty good thanks to my husband, who is really into fitness.
- Family: LOVE ~My relationship with my husband it superb. We can talk open and honestly. HATE ~I wish I had a better relationship with my brother.
- Relationships: Friendships have been under high scrutiny and suspicion since 2008 when I got married. HATE ~I desperately wish I knew what went on in the mind of my childhood best friend whom I no longer speak with. Other friendships are a little strained, or only fine on the surface.
31 Days to Reset My Life Challenge: Day 1
1: Choose Your "Reset Notebook"
I was originally planning on using an unused pink Howard University notebook, but since no one reads my blog, I'll go ahead and divulge all my entries here lol.
2: Choose Your Personal Mantra
I follow The Daily Love and this quote stood out to the night owl in me.
"Heights by great men reached & kept
were not obtained by sudden flight but,
while their companions slept,
were toiling upward in the night"
I Am Somebody
Some poets don't know it.
Know what? Know justice.
Freedom from the barrage of torments that others are unaware of.
Esteemed writers fall victim to cold winters that wreak of no one acknowledging their efforts.
Know what? Know justice. Nobody here but just us.
Just us poets.Vying for your attention.
Batting eyelashes for your observation.
But even without your courtesy,
we won't sit in complacency.
I am Somebody..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Carpe Diem
Seize the Day. How about you go after that dream like it's your last dream,
your last thing.
Thing to behold, the future is untold,
so in this life be bold,
for your time is not your own, your past is gone,
the birds have flown,
the coop is empty, how many of y'all feel me..?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Got this need..
this need to be, be more than just me, need to feel free.
Holding steadily, as I walk this road gingerly, grasping for friends tenderly,
makin sure they know the deal. Tired of having to learn what's real.
Step off if you aren't true, because I have no need for you, or the bullshit that permeates you,
comin thru your pores like hennessy, my down ass chick you'll never be.
I told you I need to feel free.
Y
Z
Now this title may sound a little harsh, but the premise is true nonetheless lol. We all know that any and every relationship is costly. The cost may not necessarily always be monetary, but you will lose something. As long as what you're receiving in return for your many efforts of time, love, affection, work, or whatever the situation is, is in fact reciprocated justly, then its all good. However, just as the old adage goes, 'Life isn't fair', friendships aren't always balanced either. So take a good gander at your surroundings. Is the company you keep worth it? Are they worth the fun loving stress and endearing gifts that you have to spend on special occasions? Perhaps the mini venting sessions that clue you in on the chaotic episodes of their lives keep the acquaintance afloat. How about the fights that stem from nothing that turn tumultuous and have you wondering how you became friends with this soul-less individual in the first place? Not sure? The ebb and tide, ups and downs of any and all relationships must be weathered if you truly want to involve yourself and have your own life accepted by others (or at the very least allow you to make a true unbiased or jaded opinion on the questions mentioned previously lol). The risk of ultimate loneliness is sometimes worth the pain and anxiety. You just might wind up with a friendship or bond that is timeless, priceless,...unbreakable. But when it turns into a one way street of solitary confinement and unrequited, conditional love..how do you break free? Do you stick it out, hoping things will change or that you can change the person? Or do you cut your loses at the first sign of disagreement?
Decisions, decisions..
Y
Z
Hmm are you quickie!?! Are you proud of yourself before you should be? Are you a closeted congratulater (yeah that's not a word but you feel me)? Do you set goals for yourself and after the first minor success you're already patting yourself on the back? Yeah I do that sometimes. Presently, I'm taking an online class and I've got a good load of reading to do weekly. So I've got like 6 chapters that I gotta conquer and I've covered 2 lol! I've let 3 days pass as I sat in my congratulated state. Procrastination has always been a friend to me, but now with a 6 week old mini me..its harder to stay on task and easier to take each accomplishment and attach it with a 3 day furlow lol! I know I'm not the only one out there with this lil mishap of a characteristic, so if you've already seen the finish line with your mind after a couple of swift accomplishments haha..raise your glass and toast with me..
Y
Z
With Lil Wayne in jail and T.I. freshly coming off his stint in the big house, I sit here wondering how many of our glorified rappers have tasted defeat and turned that otherwise harsh reality into beau coup amounts of dead presidents. Average everyday individuals who fall victim to circumstance, poverty, surroundings, a weak state of mind that lead them to be a clear easy target for bad influences and peer pressure seem to get stuck in a cycle of wash, rinse and repeat. Now this doesn't mean to say that those lucrative rappers don't use the same proverbial detergent and find themselves in jail multiple times either, but what stands them apart from Pookie an 'nem on the block?
Begging your pardon for your thoughts please..
Y
Z
Long time no see..er write lol. I've been away with good reason. This lil lady had a baby! My prince charming was born August 23rd, 2010 at 12:14am. A big bundle of joy at that, weighing in at 8lbs. 4oz. The joys of motherhood are indeed apparent, however this whole sleep deprivation thing is wayyy to much for me. Now I'm no slouch but, damn! Can a girl shut her eyes for more than 2 hour intervals at a time! No..no, no I don't think yall understand. I imagine all you other mommies are just calmly nodding your heads and saying.."it comes with the territory, or what did you expect?" But to that I say.."It's 2010! We haven't progressed enough to figure out some additive to breast milk to make these lil infants sleep 5 hour interval minimum lmao!!" I am losing it. Post pardum depression has grabbed a hold of my lil frame and turned me into a pod person of social inactivity! No visitors, no departures, no sleep, no nourishment..it has been rough. Not only on me, but hubby has been doing everything under the sun to keep his Queen smiling and underwhelmed. I love him dearly and without him, I would have indeed perished sometime ago.
So with that update..that's where things are now. I come to you know, while simultaneously breastfeeding lol, with some brand new outlooks on life. I tweeted yesterday that I no longer wanted to coast on my life's journey but rather be an active participant that purposely plans my blueprint. At 31, I'm wondering what have I been doing thus far to all of a sudden have this kind of epiphany. I'm not sure, but I want to make changes. I got some ideas on where to start.of course I'll keep ya posted.
Y
Z
Now most of you who have seen Martin Lawrence's stand up comedy, You So Crazy, already know the direction I'm headed given the title. Cheating is nothing new under the sun in this 2010 day an age, and so it always amazes me how easy it is for someone to haphazardly, unbeknownst to them of course, hook up with an individual that is literally coo coo for coco puffs! Now if you are a single guy or gal, then this type of maladaptive behavior flaw in an individual will only cause strife to you alone. However, if you are the unfaithful party of a couple then you have the great challenge of unleashing this macabre lover on not only you, but your family as well.
I have had some extra, almost eerily, overly caring and trust issue men in my life but nothing too stalker-ish so I was intrigued after watching Fatal Attraction for the umpteenth time, how mere encounters can turn into assault and homicide! How does that relationship erupt, and also how does one happen to evolve into that kind of crazy!? Are there cliff notes on how to be insane? Beginners guide to sociopathy perhaps? I've never been that vengeful to be the type of lady that damages property, or threatens ex's with their lives, hold family members hostage, or take on kidnapping as a hobby so I'm baffled and yet intrigued at the whole idea.
Give me your thoughts, share your stories..we gotta stop the craziness people! Or at least put it in a screenplay and make some money off the whole ordeal!
Y
Z
Of course after witnessing a beautiful dedication and a superb afternoon meal, a drive down 95S should prove rewarding as the passing scenery brings me closer and closer to my destination - home! But nooo...upon entering the lovely abode that I have helped create to be a sanctuary..the lovely cinnamon and apple smell that I departed with has now been masked by the dank, harsh reality of a soft substance only known to those with a crass tongue as shi$! Now, the princess of my home, Empress, who I've so eloquently introduced you all to earlier in a previous post, has decided that my time away was not fitting for her and she has thus broke out of her cage and unleashed all types of excrement throughout the house! Now a pet owner that loves her dog and understands the notion of how long one mere Bichon can hold their urinary obligations is one thing, but I am not that owner! I have come to realize, that I really can not stand dogs! I feel like I am perpetually babysitting a puppy that is not mine, and am in constant need and desire to return her to her true owner!! Sad this must sound, but its honest. Another virtue I explained in another post lol!
She is cute, cuddly and conniving! A cunning fur ball that constantly receives endless oohing and aahing, as if she's a newborn, when reality her one year on earth has earned her a bad wrap in my book! You may think "Oh you're being too hard on her, What did you expect when you bought a pet, She's just a baby.." All true, but who is on my side haha?! All you damn pet lovers make me sick with your constant defending of dogs! Its so obnoxious lol! I am actually thinking that the wicked witch of the west was misinterpreted! Toto wasn't all that nice!
Y
Z
Life as I know it, always seems to be in some sort of twisted spiral where I have to consistently be the bigger person, and therefore receive the short end of the stick. I'm not saying that I am above learning a thing or two, but a persons life should be fulfilling as opposed to filled with abuse, misconduct and carelessness. These last adjectives come attached to episodes of present and past friendships lost, and current stalemates of associates that just wax and wane into oblivion at a moments notice. I am tired of the game of caring. I am tired of assumptions that wind up leaving me alone and lonely and crying to myself wondering am I that bad of a person that I clearly can't be befriended the way I feel that I should be or the way that I am to another. Ugh... reckless thoughts hit me harder on some days and are mere pin pricks on others. My demeanor cool to the touch as to not arouse the onlookers, but below brews a mastermind of creativity that just simmers with soreness and a want to be compassionately held and rocked into a heavenly stupor of knowledge that everything will work out and in God's plan and divine order.
As of this post, I'm not sure anyone has even read my blog. I am cool with that..a little. This is a point of contact and reference from my soul to the world. Maybe it will draw a crowd, or muster up a water cooler conversation at some point. Either way, this was a deep one I'm sure..thanks for listening Casper..my nonexistent audience. I know you feel me..
Y
Z
Is it so tragic to realize that the people you thought you knew, you know the least? Or could it be that the one friend you met last month gets you better than most? I seem to be baffled for the last 2 years when it comes to friendships. I've had to learn some hard lessons that have left me a little scarred, jaded and damn sure trust-shy.
I remain leery of other people that have done me no wrong, but it becomes a twisted roulette game in my mind and it appears through my window as they just haven't had time to make their mark on my heart yet. Its sad but true, so I'll just continue to walk forward, careful to look both ways, and up and down. Life is too short for bitterness and resentment, and too long to spend it around unworthy people.
Take care to cherish the real friends you've got..
Y
Z
Not about to get too philosophical today. Yesterday embarked another momentous occasion historically known as my birthday lol! Now feeling extra special and loved is pretty much the goal for anyone, but with the social networking revolution we have these days via myspace, facebook, twitter..etc the amount of birthday wishes one could find themselves on the receiving end has become unparalleled. I, of course, expected family and friends to hit me up, but the amount of "friends" that showed me kindness was overwhelming!
So if the Internet is good for something, I found myself in the center of attention of massive attacks of luv! With so much negativity plaguing the airwaves..as corny as it sounds..its good to see so much selfless, embellished emotion.
Be easy,
Y
Z
I'm a new animal lover as of almost a year. I am one of those women that coo and fuss over toy and miniature anything's. So when it came time for me to step into the dog owner world, I thought I was fully equipped. Wrong, wrong, wrong, did I mention that I was completely wrong!? This little creature otherwise known as Empress from the land of Bichon Frise is an absolute beautiful bandit! Looks the part, plays the role, makes you initially want to just pick her cute and cuddly self up, but noooo this chick is cunning, crazy and suffers from every known possible version of ADHD!
Let me just give you a quick synopsis of her ongoings today. A simple walk around the neighborhood was what I signed up for. Lil terrorizer had other motives as she stealthily walked around the perimeter of our manicured lawn, to have a mini stake out of the unsuspecting mailman. Now me already knowing this foe, I redirected our path. Problem averted, I think. Great, she's peed. Score number 1, I feel as I take out my lil plastic bag, awaiting the inevitable circle and squat for her less than private poop stance. Not too soon, some neighbors of ours emerge, ok..I'm cool with that..oh crap..the children!! No! Empress switches her off button to full blown coo coo for coco puffs mode and she's off like a laser beam! Now I did tell you she is a Bichon right!? She only stands to right above my knee when on her hind legs. Now back to the children, I am already fearing for their safety so I'm running and simultaneously clicking the lock and otherwise known as the choke hold mechanism on her leash! She takes no hints, subtle or in her own dog language, so I proceed to try and hold her so they lovely inquisitive 4 and 5 year old innocents can pet her. She fights us all! Freedom she beckons! Winds up throwin' me a left paw to the lip, and I almost forget that this was the sweet lil puppy that I wanted oh so much. I quickly distracted the children with the call of their mother and aggressively told Empress to say bye. No more walking for this champ, my lip was sore. She'll have to hold her back door duty! Pun intended. This featherweight pup has won this round..she shall not win another..
Y
Z
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Good afternoon to whoever..
I'm delighted to make your acquaintance as I am sure you are equally intrigued to meet me. With my pleasantries made, we can now begin this journey together. I am just navigating through this blog world trying to find my own niche. My expectations are only for myself and aim to give others a piece of my mind via script as opposed to my very verbal life. I may offend, inspire, enlighten, and humor myself and hopefully you as well. So with that..let us begin
Is honesty the best policy in all situations? In lieu of that perfect, precise and completely forthcoming relationship, how much divulging should one do and furthermore, what are the increments and measures of the truth that are allowed? Of course this is quite a mouthful to begin with but c'mon..who tells the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth ALL the time! I'm no saint, so I already know my hand won't be ascending if that question were posed to me, however in my life, I try as best as I can.
This topic stemmed from me overhearing the phrase, "little white lie" a few days ago. Who's to say whats little and where did lies become racial? Maybe I over think too much on the minuscule. And how can you determine a lie? Is it only punishable if caught? How much proof must you have before there can be vindication? Questions! Preguntas!!
Give me your quarries, thoughts or renderings on this one. I'd love to know.
Ynobē
Zhené
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